


lacuna

by freloux



Category: Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Decisions, Character Study, F/M, Magic Realism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-05-27 08:31:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15020705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freloux/pseuds/freloux
Summary: Sometimes Addison wonders what Zed would be like if he wasn’t a zombie. What he might have been like before.





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes Addison wonders what Zed would be like if he wasn’t a zombie. What he might have been like before. It’s the most awkward of questions, though, and she already knows that she has to tread pretty carefully in regards to his zombie issues, so she settles for imagining.

That, and some good, old-fashioned Internet sleuthing.

It’s after cheer practice, so her heart is already beating hard when she sits down at her laptop and starts aimlessly googling as if to get her bearings.

Reading about the explosion is like being in class all over again. It’s mandatory to cover it at the beginning of each school year, but a lot of Addison’s teachers (especially the older ones) either have additional classes about it throughout the semester or just find ways to bring it up even in subjects that aren’t history or science.

Often it’s both. Which always leads to rapt attention from the Seabrook kids and uncomfortable silence from the zombies. Some things just can’t - or won’t - be changed. It’s why Addison still keeps her relationship with Zed on the DL.

Addison does find an article about the explosion from the zombie perspective, though. It’s incredibly sad so she clicks out of it after only skimming a little. The article talks about life in the Zombieland ghetto. How it used to be nice before Seabrook money conveniently went elsewhere. How zombies don’t become zombies outright; they get a chemical adjustment that causes it right around puberty, due to the air pollution. So Zed hasn’t been one for that long, Addison realizes. She gets this weird flutter of _what if_ deep in her heart.

It gives her the confidence and, perhaps, the courage, to open up Facebook in another tab. 

She types in _Zed Necrodopoulus_ into the Facebook search bar first. His profile comes up right away. Still only one mutual friend - Eliza. Zed has chosen a picture from his first football practice for his current profile picture. He looks so _happy_ : his green hair is spiked up from sweat, he’s holding a football in one hand, almost posing, and his smile is wide and easy as though the photographer caught him mid-laugh.

It makes Addison’s stomach twist like it’s wrong to be seeing this, even though all it took was a simple search (and he left it there, maybe out of hope or forgetfulness). It’s like she’s almost taking something away from him by clicking the picture arrows in the direction of an earlier chronology.

And there he is. The Zed she never knew, never even met. His hair is brown and his skin is actually not that much darker from the pale white it is now. Perhaps what is most striking is that this Zed is actually really ripped, like being a zombie just hollowed him out somehow.

She glances down at the comments, the likes and hearts:

_jesus zach give a girl some warning next time!!!!_

_omg ur perfect u should try out for the seabrook football team next year._ (That one has three likes and someone named Zach replied _lolol as if_.)

Even Eliza commented: _that’s a good look for u, zach :)_ Zach replied to that one, too, with a _thx bro :D_

What Addison can’t figure out, though, is who “Zach” is. Zed’s brother, maybe? Until it hits her: of course. It’s Zed. He used to be Zach. Back before -

The messenger chat box appears with a little _ding!_ that makes Addison just about jump out of her skin. It’s Zed, which makes Addison feels some kinda hit of karma, like she shouldn’t be looking at this, like he somehow knows, even though she’s pretty sure that zombies can’t read minds.

_hey u. what’re u doing now?_

Addison swallows hard and forces herself to reply. _nothing much lol. u?_

The little ellipses appears then vanishes, appears and vanishes, before Zed finally responds. _do u want to come over then?_

_sure._

***

Addison doesn’t really go to Zed’s house that often. She’s been all of twice since they started dating. It’s just that he seems embarrassed by it all: the shitty plants out front, the porch that’s not fully repaired, how every house in his neighborhood looks like it hasn’t been fixed since the explosion.

She walks up to his place and shivers when she remembers that article and realizes that they haven’t.

Zed opens the door as soon as she knocks. “Hey,” he says, shy.

“Hay is for horses,” Addison grins. He smiles back and gives her a soft kiss.

They hang out in the kitchen which actually seems like the newest part of the house as though it’s been updated recently. Addison can see why Zed’s family focused on this room first. After all, there’s that saying about the kitchen being the heart of a home and it truly seems that way here. Zed’s comfortable now and has an easy stride, loping around the island to root through the refrigerator. There are wide windows on two sides and even though they look out onto the neighbor’s drooping yard and dilapidated house, they let in a surprising amount of sunshine. The light glints off of stainless steel appliances and creamy-white cabinetry. Sitting here at the pristine island actually makes Addison feel disconcertingly like she’s back in Seabrook.

“Smoothies ok?” Zed asks, already holding a bunch of fruit and making for the blender.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Addison replies.

She’s distracted. Her boyfriend used to be someone named Zach who only dreamed of playing football and escaping the zombie life. The whirr of the blender fades into white noise as she gets lost in thought again. What it was for him back then, what it’s like for him now.

Addison looks around the kitchen, trying to take it all in and see this life through his eyes. That’s when she notices a small framed picture hanging next to the stairwell and almost drops the glass that Zed hands her.

It’s him. It’s Zach. Brown hair combed back, rakish smile, looking like Zed’s identical twin.

Zed notices where she’s looking and frowns. “You’re not supposed to see that,” he mutters. “Must’ve forgotten to take it down before you came.”

“Who is that?” Addison asks. Goosebumps prick up along her skin and it’s definitely not from the smoothie-related brain freeze. (God, she always forgets to drink them more slowly.) She wants to hear it from him.

“Zach,” he says, taking a loud sip from his own glass as if to change the subject. He doesn’t elaborate at all, just reaches for the picture and takes it off its hook, setting it facedown on the island.

They finish their smoothies in silence and opt for making out on the couch until Zed’s sister comes in, yells “GROSS!!!” and chases Addison out, all three of them laughing.

***

Addison doesn’t sleep very well that night. She keeps thinking about Zach: what his voice might’ve sounded like, if his skin was warmer than Zed’s. If he dated any other girls and if they were human (pre-zombies??) too. If he was a good kisser at all.

In her fantasy he is. Zach comes to visceral, horny life: they’re hanging out after her cheer practice like the biggest cliche ever and he’s all tangled up in her. His muscles are firm under her hands. Zach’s holding her - not tight, but enough for her to feel dominated, to feel wanted. He kisses her lips before migrating down to the juncture where her neck meets her collarbone. “Don’t,” Addison breathes. Zach just smiles at her and starts sucking at her neck, biting enough that he leaves what blooms into a heart-shaped mark. Addison moans and holds him closer. She’s on top of him, legs tight at his hips so he can’t move, and starts grinding on him until she feels his body start to respond. His cock is so big that even dry-humping like this feels _amazing_.

Addison lies in bed breathing hard, slipping her hand inside her pajama pants so she can touch herself in the same rhythm that her dream-self is using to get off on Zach. Her arousal drips out over her fingertips - she kisses Zach one last time - and her orgasm is strong and lasting.

She wipes her hand on her pajama leg and thinks of Zed again, this brief fading thing that disappears with the last remnants of her orgasm. Her arousal goes cold and tacky on her thighs. It feels like she just cheated on him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addison finds herself in the one place she thought she’d never return to.

The rest of her dreams that night are brief, fitful. When Addison wakes up she can’t remember any of them. The only thing she remembers is Zach. She misses him even though he’s Zed, right? She should be happy about that, right?

Addison brushes her teeth and tries not to think about Zach. She packs her bag with her cheer uniform and the beat-up textbooks for her classes and tries not to think about Zach. Today is history. Maybe for once she’ll actually pay attention. It might give her more clues about just who Zach is. Was.

She really does try not to think about him. She already has Zed, she shouldn’t want more. Except this is a part of him, a part that was unaccessible before now - that she wasn’t even aware of before now.

Goddamn her curiosity.

***

They don’t even talk about the soda factory in history class, and Addison hates herself for being disappointed. She doodles in her notebook instead until Eliza bumps her shoulder. Addison startles, not even realizing how zoned out she’d been.

“Sorry to wake you,” Eliza jokes. “C’mon, we’re going to miss math.”

“Ugh,” Addison groans. At least math will definitely keep her mind off Zach.

She doodles through that class, too, but at least keeping her hands busy lets her mind wander somewhat productively. Addison thinks of other ways to go about this and realizes that the Zombie Safe Room might hold some answers.

During study hall, Addison checks to make sure the coast is clear and walks down the hall, cursing the squeaky Keds that she has to wear as a cheerleader. It feels like she’s walking towards another piece of the puzzle, another insight into the zombies’ reality. Reaching the door sends an almost shameful twinge through her stomach. This is the place where she and Zed first met and now she’s sullying the memory by digging around where, she’s fully aware, she really shouldn’t be digging.

Regardless, Addison squares her shoulders and pushes the door open.

It’s exactly the way it was before. Clinical in its excessive cleanliness. Stainless steel everywhere, a hospital gurney or two in the corner. The partitions she and Zed hid behind when they sang together and started falling in love. Addison sighs, nostalgic, and finds herself half-smiling as she traces her hand over one of the shelves behind which Zed had appeared and she’d punched him.

“Where did you go?” she asks no one in particular.

“Who?” a voice responds behind her.

Addison shrieks and whirls around. It’s Zed. He’s hefting a dark purple gym bag and looks just as confused as he had after her punch had connected all those months ago.

“No one,” Addison says, recovering quickly. “What are you doing here?” It comes out way too defensive. He lifts an eyebrow.

“Um, I was on my way to football practice and I saw the Safe Room door was open. Which it never is unless there’s a good reason for it. Curiosity got the better of me so I came in and found you.”

“Right,” Addison replies weakly.

He frowns. “Ok. So tell me this, then. Why are you in the Safe Room? You’re not a zombie and we haven’t used this thing since, like, last semester.”

Addison gulps. “I was, um, scouting for places we could make out. At school. Where no one would catch us.” It’s disturbing how quickly that seconds lie slips out, and that she’s using their relationship to cover what she’s doing.

“Nice work,” Zed says with a grin as he sets down his gym bag. “You picked the one place that zombies _and_ cheerleaders are scared to go. Shame we didn’t think of this earlier.”

“Right. A shame.” (Not the _real_ shame here, Addison knows.)

He walks up to her until she’s pinned between him and the shelves. One of them digs into her lower back. It should hurt, but it doesn’t. It feels concentrated, an anchor keeping her in the present while Zed leans in and she starts picturing someone else.

Zed brushes his lips against hers. She responds, shifting upwards so she can reach his mouth more easily. He’s just so tall and gangly, still, even after months of football practice. Maybe it’s the zombie in him. His mouth is cold but heats up quickly under hers, especially when she lets their tongues run together. Open - needy, even. Zed skims his hands up - up - up until he’s holding her breasts, cupping, but not squeezing, not quite.

Addison shifts again so he can touch her more fully. Now it’s like the fantasy she had before where Zach was touching her. She moans, satisfied, and Zed continues, unbuttoning her shirt so slowly it nearly drives her crazy. He lets it hang open, exposing her bra, and goes back to kissing her. They’re skin to skin now but Addison still wants more.

“Bite me,” she whispers.

Zed pulls away, eyes wide. “What if someone notices?” he asks.

“I don’t care,” Addison responds impatiently. Come on. Just like Zach, she thinks.

So Zed does it - bending so his mouth is nestled in the crook of her neck. The brush of his hair against her jaw tickles. She doesn’t laugh, she can’t, but sucks in a breath when he bites her for real. It’s a tiny little touch, the scrape of his teeth on her skin, and the sensation drops all the way down between her legs.

“Unnnnhhhh,” Addison sighs. Her fantasy comes to life. Zach - Zed - touching her, feeling his way, biting her carefully. _Zach, please,_ she thinks.

Zed reels backwards. “What the fuck did you just say?”

Oh shit. She must’ve said it out loud.

“I - nothing. I said your name, right?” Addison blubbers, trying to convince herself as much as Zed. “Haha, that’s what I said. ‘Zed said -’”

He doesn’t fall for it. “No, you said _Zach_ ,” Zed insists. “I can’t believe you.”

Zed grabs his gym back again and storms out, leaving the metal door of the Safe Room slam shut heavily behind him.

Addison stands in there alone. The room feels even larger and emptier now. She finds herself relating to the zombies in a weird sort of way: essentially quarantined. At least she’s relatively free to escape, waiting for a few beats until she’s sure Zed is completely gone. The zombies, though, are still kept apart. It’s not right.

Maybe she can do something about that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I, um, kind of found out about Zach,” Addison mumbles.

Addison has trouble focusing through the rest of her classes. She startles when she’s called on and mumbles the answers. She has a couple of classes with Zed - before, that was a fun excuse to make googly eyes at each other and even exchange flirty texts when they were sure their teachers weren’t looking.

This is after, though. An impasse, a gap. Zed must’ve skipped for the day: his usual seat is depressingly empty and it’s quieter somehow without him there to contribute to the rowdy footballers. Addison stands still in the flow of students around her, wanting him there with her.

She’s distracted all through cheer practice, too. It gets to the point where the captain yells at her, saying that Addison is a danger to everyone on the team if she can’t get her ass in gear. So Addison grabs her water bottle and sits on the sidelines. Tears prick at her eyes but she forces them back as she pulls out her phone. She pulls up messenger and is grateful that he’s not online. Last seen: three hours ago. Was that when they fought? Broke up without breaking up? Addison’s not sure what to call it; either way it hurts.

Her fingers hover over the keypad. A hundred thoughts are racing through her head but she can’t seem to put any of them into real words. She ultimately types _I’m sorry_ and sends it out into the void. As soon as she does so, Addison puts her phone on airplane mode and just watches her fellow cheerleaders spin and fly up into the air, so much freer than she is.

***

She doesn’t dare to open up her phone at all later, doesn’t want to see the little read icon telling her that he’s seen it. _Respond,_ she wants to say. _Tell me everything’s ok - that it can, that it will be ok and that we can move on from this. Please._

***

“What’s eating you?” Eliza says the following day at lunch.

Addison doesn’t respond to the pun. Instead she’s focused on the limp carrots and soggy lunch meats that the school calls food. Seriously, Seabrook’s wealthy enough that if they can fund the county’s best cheer team, surely they can serve their students at least something remotely edible?

At least it fits her mood.

“It’s -” Addison isn’t sure where to start. Finally she just says “Zed. It’s Zed.”

“Ohhhh,” Eliza says, as if she can discern everything that Addison means just with that one little name. Maybe zombies _can_ read minds.

“We’re - things are kind of rocky right now,” Addison continues, still staring into her food.

“Are you ‘on a break’?” Eliza asks, making exaggerated air quotes around the _Friends_ reference. When Addison frowns, Eliza quickly apologizes.

“I think so,” Addison admits. “He’s not talking to me at any rate.”

Eliza scooches closer, taking her tray with her. “Wanna explain?”

Addison doesn’t but at least Eliza might be able to help her figure out this whole shitty mess.

“I, um, kind of found out about Zach,” Addison mumbles.

Eliza’s eyes go wide, fork frozen halfway to her mouth. She drops it onto her tray and a little spray of something the school is claiming might be gravy flies off the edge and drips onto the table. “Whoops,” Eliza says absently before launching into the next thought. “He was cute, right?”

Addison scrunches up her forehead. “Um, that is totally not the response I was expecting.”

Eliza laughs. “Dude, Zach was totally known as the babe of Zombietown High. It’s not surprising you’re into that version of Zed. Although Zed’s cute, too,” she says, in a sort of daydreamy tone. Then she snaps out of it. “Annnnyways, Addison, I really don’t think he’s mad at you. Just embarrassed. He changed his name to Zed when he transformed into a zombie. He was all dramatic about it, like, ‘that part of me is gone so I’m calling myself something new.’”

Addison finally cracks a smile. Zed can be kind of extra sometimes.

She takes a deep breath and risks asking something. “What did you use to look like?”

Eliza casually pulls up her phone. “Man, those were the days,” she murmurs as she scrolls through her pictures. “Here.”

She tilts the screen so Addison can see. It’s a picture of Eliza at what must be Zombietown prom: she’s wearing a flowy dress and killer braids that are pulled back into an updo. Addison whistles lowly. Then her stomach drops because Zach - Zed - is in the background wearing a tux and talking to someone, head thrown back in a laugh.

Eliza is all easy and smooth about it, like yep, this is how it used to be and that’s ok. Addison only wishes that Zed was the same way.

***

A thought occurs to Addison that night in the middle of highlighting a totally boring passage on the construction of the pyramids. If Zed’s not in her life right now (she tries not to think anything about degrees of permanence), well, then that means she’s free somehow. She can do anything she wants, good or bad, and that includes relationships too, right?

What’s the harm in a fun little fling - something to take her mind off this whole shitty mess? The more she considers it, the more the idea grows in appeal. So who should she pick? As a cheerleader, Addison has her fair choice of a bunch of different footballers. It’s considered the natural order of things in Seabrook anyways. No one would be surprised and she’d probably even get congratulated for doing someone who’s not a zombie.

She mulls over the idea during English the following day, chewing on her pencil as she scans the classroom for appealing contenders.

“Mark?” the teacher asks. “Can you explain to us what the significance of the forest in _Lady Chatterley’s Lover_ might be?”

A skinny, dopey guy wearing a Seabrook football jersey shuffles himself awake. “Um, can you repeat the question?”

Little smatters of laughter ripple their way through the classroom.

“Yes,” the teacher says in a calm tone laced with sarcasm. “Tell me about the forest in _Lady Chatterley’s Lover_.”

“Uhh, ok,” Mark says. He makes a big show of rifling through the book even though it’s pretty obvious that he’s never even opened it before. “I guess it’s, like, about secrecy or whatever?”

The teacher blinks, surprised. “Wow, Mark, for once an astute observation! Yes indeed,” he continues, turning to the blackboard and writing in large and looping script: _Forest = secrecy._ “Anyone else want to expand on that?”

Addison would raise her hand - English is one of her favorite subjects anyway - but instead she’s thinking about Mark. He seems perfect for this. Like a Kleenex hookup: use once and throw away.

***

Addison sidles up to Mark after English. He doesn’t seem to notice her at first since he’s staring into his backpack, shaking it a little before rifling around within.

“Heeeyyy,” Addison says, trying to sound as casual as possible. Jesus, how long has it been since she’s actually flirted with anyone?? She coughs and tries again. “Hey, Mark, I really liked what you said earlier. About the forest,” she clarifies.

Mark finally looks up. “Oh. Thanks.” He might be blushing so Addison decides to turn on the full wattage of being a girl, honed through years of being a cheerleader. “Yeah. Do you want to study together? In the library later, during study hall? I think you’ve got some really good points.”

 _Stop saying ‘really’!_ she shouts inwardly. Addison coughs again. Mark looks at her with something approaching concern. “You sick?” He inches backwards.

“No, not at all,” Addison says and reaches out to stroke his arm. “You just make me nervous since you’re so hot!”

Mark smiles, and ok, that is kind of cute. “Wow, I’ve never had a cheerleader pay attention to me before.”

“C’mon, that’s ridiculous!” Addison replies. She’s acutely aware of how high and squeaky her voice has become. “You’re a football stud.”

“Ok,” Mark says. “See you in the library, then.”

Addison watches him go and tries to ignore the heavy and sad beat of her heart.

***

Mark ambles up to her desk in the library fifteen minutes late. He slings his backpack down and it lands with a thud that makes the librarian glare at him.

“So, like, what did you want to talk about?” he asks, sitting next to her.

Addison draws a blank. She honestly hadn’t thought this far ahead. So she just leans in and blurts, “Do you want to make out?”

It’s completely blunt and awkward, but Mark seems to be into it. He shrugs and is all like “sure.”

She feels her way into it, turning her chair so she can face him at an angle. Then she closes her eyes and goes for it, not sure who she’s supposed to be thinking of this time.

“Addison?” She breaks the kiss and looks around, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

It’s Zed. He’s holding up his phone. “I got your text.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If there’s one thing Addison has learned, it’s that sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.
> 
> Potential (trigger??) warnings this chapter for unenthusiastic, but consensual, sex.

Mark sits back, “Woah, you’re dating a zombie?!”

“She _was_.” Zed practically spits the words and makes for the door of the library.

Addison grabs her backpack and hurries after him. She doesn’t even care about the judgemental looks or catty whispers that follow her as she goes. She’s sure the texts are already flying from one phone to another. Gossip travels way too fast at this fucking school.

“Zed, wait - I’m sorry -” Addison calls.

Zed’s pushing his way through the crowd of students that have congregated outside the library. He stops, turns towards her, and the look on his face is one she’s never seen before. It’s sad and horrible.

“Not sorry enough,” he counters, and keeps walking, making a path for himself like he’s parting the Red Sea or something. Addison struggles to keep up - she’s shorter than he is, so she keeps getting swallowed up in the crush of people around her.

The two of them end up outside the school near the parking lot. It’s cold outside for April, but maybe that’s just the way Addison’s feeling. Zed opens the trunk of his car, slings his football bag into it, and closes the trunk with way more force than is strictly necessary. 

“So what, I’m not enough for you? You’d rather be with some real Seabrook football guy? Someone human, like _Zach_?” he says, gritting the words out between his teeth as he marches to his car door.

Addison reaches for him but he twists away. “That’s not what I meant at all! Zed, come on -”

“Then what _did_ you mean?” Zed asks.

Something heavy drops into her gut, something like guilt. She’s not fully sure how to answer his question, but her silence is worse than anything she could’ve thought to say.

“That’s what I thought,” Zed mutters. The tone of his voice makes her stomach twist painfully. Hearing it like that, how he’s not really angry but disappointed instead, is truly awful.

She lets her arms come to rest at her sides, fists clenched, nails digging into her palms. “I -”

“Don’t,” Zed says. He gets into his car, shuts the door, and drives away.

***

Addison returns to the library feeling crumpled. Cheerleaders swarm around her, some criticizing, but most of them thump her on the back and enthuse about how she finally showed up that zombie loser. “You’re so much better than him!” one of them chirps. Mark’s still sitting at that desk like nothing happened. He’s on his phone but looks up when Addison approaches. “Hey, um, can we make out again?” he asks as though he’s a puppy expecting to be rewarded.

If there’s one thing Addison has learned it’s that sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. She sets her mouth in a thin, determined line, running all the possibilities through her head.

“Yes,” she finally says. “Yes, we can.”

“Awesome!” Mark says.

***

Kissing Mark is nothing like kissing Zed, but to be honest, there’s something nice about that right now. Something in that difference that Addison needs. He’s so stupid and eager. His kisses are sloppy but enthusiastic and he just loves it, loves the physical without loving her. It’s the emptiness that Addison wants. She doesn’t have to think about it.

He lives on a stretch of the suburbs not far from Addison’s house which is nice and convenient - they can meet up whenever. All the houses here are cookie-cutter copies of each other: soft shades of pastel, one or two high-end cars parked in each driveway, and cliche white picket fences separating the gardens that always, always grows on the left side of each house.

His room is stereotypical Seabrook, too; honestly, it looks a lot like hers: the walls are painted a gentle seafoam green and there are windows on three sides with a view of the quiet street outside. The only difference is that there’s a poster of The Killers above his bed. 

So they’re making out on his bed and he seems so happy about it: he keeps groaning and murmuring that she’s super hot and he’s so lucky and this is _awesome_. Mark is getting a hard-on that keeps rutting between Addison’s legs through her jeans. It actually feels kind of nice so she rocks back on it. He stutters in surprise and pulls away.

“Jeez, Addison, you’re gonna make me come in my pants. That would be hella embarrassing!” he says with a lopsided smile.

She smiles back and ignores that twist in her stomach that reminds her of Zed. “So maybe come somewhere else,” Addison replies suggestively.

“Oh my god,” Mark says and stumbles backwards off his bed to open a little drawer on the nightstand next to them. He grabs a box of condoms. Addison looks at the box quizzically. Duh, she knows what they are, but it’s - she and Zed never really talked about it. Never really had to. He’s a zombie, it’s not like he could get her pregnant.

She and Mark fumble out of their clothes. Addison’s not going to try and make this any more than what it is. Mark feels different inside her, too. He’s warm, is the thing, and his cock is bigger - fatter, like she has to stretch even more to fit him. That in itself is right somehow: like Mark doesn’t quite fit with her on any real level, and she doesn’t know what she wants, but her orgasm is blissful and makes her float away on forgetful clouds.

***

People treat her differently now that she’s fucking Mark with some regularity. She gets invited to sleepovers, treated to manicures and shopping trips, welcomed (back?) into the boring, easy world that is Seabrook popularity. She waves to other cheerleaders in a way she didn’t before, hangs with the footballers and gets better at beer pong. She doesn’t really see Zed anywhere at school these days, but that doesn’t stop her looking for him.

The day she finally does see him again is weird as all get out. Addison’s walking towards her locker, chatting with some cheerleader whose name she always forgets, when - It’s out of the corner of her eye at first. Someone who looks like him walks past, a scrap of green hair that seems familiar. Someone who carries themselves the same way -

“Zed?” she calls out. She wants it to be him. She’s grasping at straws.

The anonymous cheerleader fades into the background but Zed doesn’t - it _is_ him and her heart flutters with hope. He walks over, shuffling, hesitant.

“Haven’t seen you in awhile,” he murmurs, awkward.

_That’s a fucking understatement,_ Addison wants to say but knows that would be mean.

“Can we talk?” she asks.

He makes a surprised expression but doesn’t respond. When he makes as if to walk right past her, Addison rephrases it as a demand not a question. She grabs his arm and says “We _need_ to talk” and holds on tight when he tries to shake her off.

“Fine. Let’s talk.” He folds his arms and waits. “How’s Mark?”

It’s a sting, a low blow, but Addison forces herself to continue despite the pain. “You heard?”

“Jesus, Addison, the whole school knows. It’s not exactly a secret hookup.” Zed raises an eyebrow. “So is he your boyfriend?”

_No. I don’t want him to be. I want him to be you,_ Addison thinks, and works up the courage to say that out loud.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her heart flutters again when she clicks the side of her phone to see the notification: _1 new message from Zed <3._

“No, he’s not my boyfriend. I don’t want him to be. I want him to be you,” Addison says. “I want you to be my boyfriend, Zed. The way you were before this whole thing started.”

Zed might be smiling, but she can’t really tell. It seems like he’s trying to hide it. “Addison, that’s great and all, but can we talk about this later? Somewhere more private? I have to get to class and I’m kind of tired of everyone airing their dirty laundry all over the place.”

“Oh - ok,” Addison replies, feeble. She’s not sure what she expected - something more instantaneous, maybe?

“I’ll text you,” Zed promises. “Talk soon, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Addison says. She’s filled with hope now. “Talk soon.”

Zed smiles for real, waves goodbye, and ambles off to class.

***

Addison’s sitting in study hall when her phone buzzes. Today she’s making a point of keeping to herself: she doesn’t talk to anyone else and keeps her earbuds in whenever she’s not in class, that universal signal of leave me alone. Even Mark backs off - what a relief.

Her heart flutters again when she clicks the side of her phone to see the notification: _1 new message from Zed <3._ She’d never bothered to take off the heart after his name in her contacts. That in itself seems like a weird little signal. Regardless, Addison swipes her phone open to read what he’s sent.

_hey addison - want to meet at my place after school? zoey made cookies and we can’t eat them all ourselves. ;)_

Her hands are shaking as she attempts to write out a reply. It’s like that Elvis song that Addison’s mom used to play and Addison half-smiles at the thought. She thinks about writing a whole novel in response, all the feelings she’s had and kept for so long, but settles for texting _yes_ back.

***

Addison drives over to Zed’s house extra slowly since her whole body’s buzzing from nervousness and that little flicker of hope that’s starting to grow. She parks on the street and takes several deep breaths. She takes in everything around her: the dark purples and greens and grays. It’s so much more alive than Seabrook despite the stereotype; the zombies here have had to fight for greater and more important things than she has. She’d forgotten how much she missed this.

Zoey’s the one to answer the door. “Long time no see,” she says, hand on her hip, blocking Addison’s way in.

“I know,” Addison says. Her heart’s so heavy but at least just being here is starting to make it lighter. “Zed invited me, so can I come in? He mentioned something about cookies.”

Zoey instantly lights up at the word “cookies.” She scampers away into the kitchen which allows Addison to hesitantly take her first steps into Zed’s house. It feels like the first time she was here, way back when they first started dating, when all this was so new and scary.

This is a fresh beginning in its own way too.

She hears footsteps above her and looks up to see Zed coming down the stairs. There’s a comfortable angle to the way he carries himself. Maybe that’s why he asked her over: home field advantage. Addison notices that the photo of Zach that used to be near the staircase is missing, leaving a dusty shadow that’s lighter than the wallpaper around it.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hay is for horses,” he responds automatically and they both catch themselves sharing a laugh. Things get lighter, then - there’s a shift in the atmosphere around them.

“Come on,” Zoey yells from the kitchen. “The cookies aren’t going to eat themselves!”

“Want to go?” Zed asks, offering his elbow.

“Sure?” Addison takes it. She’s hesitant. That buzz of nervousness starts blooming all over again.

She nearly drops Zed’s arm when they enter the kitchen and see exactly what Zoey’s set up. The cookies are spread out on a platter, titled against each other, and there’s a stack of plates next to them so they can help themselves. Zoey’s poured smoothies into two glasses, each with their own cute little striped straw.

Come to think of it, Addison notices that there are only two plates as well...and only enough cookies for two people to eat…Not only that, Zoey’s conveniently disappeared.

“What’s going on here?” Addison asks slowly. She takes a few cookies and sits down on one of the spinny stools next to the island.

Zed sits across from her. “Peace offering. It was Zoey’s idea.” He grins.

“Not bad,” Addison says, taking a bite of cookie. Hm. Chocolate chip. Weird combo with a fruit smoothie, but they actually taste surprisingly good together. Kind of like her and Zed.

Speaking of. “So what did you want to say?” Zed asks.

Addison swallows her cookie and looks down at her hands. Her nail polish is mostly chipped off. When did that happen? She’s usually so good at maintaining the details of her life both large and small.

“I messed up,” Addison finally says. She doesn’t - she can’t look up; she doesn’t - she can’t - want to see what Zed’s expression is now. So she talks to her nail polish instead. “I wanted too much. I feel too intensely - I throw myself into things without thinking.”

Addison stops. She thinks she’s about to cry. “I was - I was curious about you. I wanted to know.”

(She doesn’t say about what, but she doesn’t have to.)

“It was wrong of me and I see that now. Mark was a mistake, Zed - I needed something to take my mind off of us and I chose the wrong thing.”

Finally she flicks her gaze up to meet Zed’s. She can’t read his face. It used to be such an open book for her. He’s drinking his smoothie carefully through the straw. Addison watches its level decline, getting smaller and smaller along with her hopes.

He stops drinking, coughs, and wipes off his mouth with a Hello Kitty napkin. Addison almost grins - Zoey’s influence again, obviously.

“I was wrong, too,” Zed replies. His voice is so soft Addison almost has to strain to hear it. “God, it was all so stupid, all that shit with Zach - Eliza told me that she told you about it.”

Addison nods. She’s holding her breath, treasuring this tiny island of peace that they’ve arrived on.

“I want you to see something,” Zed says. He pulls his phone out of his jeans pocket, hits a few buttons, and turns the screen to face her. It’s Zach, the way he used to be, the snippets that Addison has either caught or sought out herself. Zed gets up so he can sit next to her and show her the pictures for real. It’s like a time warp, or a flip book: the first picture shows Zed leaning against what must be his car when it was fresh off the lot. He’s got his arms crossed in a false macho pose and grins at the camera like he knows how hot he is. After that, there are a few of Zed just riding around town or goofing off with his friends. He gets to prom and sighs. It looks like he and Eliza went together: there’s a classic “photo booth” snapshot of the two of them standing stiffly in front of a backdrop that says Dancing Under the Stars. Glittery plastic stars are strung up all around them; there are a few awkward teenagers in chiffon dresses and ill-fitting suits in the background.

Then there’s the photo that Eliza showed Addison, but from Zed’s perspective. He’s standing with a friend and they’re making goofy faces at each other, mouths frozen in a laugh that Addison can almost hear.

She smiles. “You look so happy.”

Zed shuts off his phone and sets it screen-down on the island. “I was. Then we all grew up and, well, the rest is history.” He sighs heavily. “Zombietown used to be part of Seabrook, you know. Before it got quarantined.”

“I had so many dreams but when It happened I just kind of...withdrew. Eliza and I stayed friends, though - obviously. She understands everything that went down and never walked away when everyone else did. They just accepted their fate. That’s the way it is here. So it’s kind of similar to Seabrook in a way - you know, not really thinking about how things could change. Or not wanting things to change.”

“Yeah,” Addison agrees. She takes another cookie and chews it thoughtfully. “You know, we can do something about that - we’ve changed things before, just by being together. Who knows what else could happen?”

Zed smirks at her but she can tell that he agrees. “I mean, what could go wrong with a girl and a zombie?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What? You think this is easy for me?” Addison retorts.

They find out the very next morning when they arrive at school holding hands. The gossip mill whirs to life almost immediately. All the rumors and insults that had all but vanished in the weeks that Addison was with Mark start slithering around with renewed fervor. _Did you see them? Ugh, it’s so gross! I thought she knew better. Eww, Mark was so much better for her!_

As if in punishment, during history class their teacher decides to cover the explosion in excruciating detail. How Seabrook was safer before. It makes Addison’s skin prickle uncomfortably until the teacher starts drawing something on the board with squeaky Sharpie, the kind that always seem to run out of ink. Sure enough, the teacher has to go to the math classroom to borrow more. “Remember to behave while I’m gone!” she says, already halfway out the door and well aware that her instructions are futile.

As soon as she leaves, the teasing and shitty stories begin once more. _Addison,_ they whisper. _Hey, Addison._ She stares straight ahead, valiantly trying to ignore them and study what the teacher drew instead. It’s a diagram of some sort: a factory with two-way arrows pointed to a squiggly line that evidently symbolizes Seabrook as well as a tinier straight line that’s supposed to represent Zombietown. Below the diagram is something that Addison can’t quite decipher, especially since the last few words are mere faded shadows of Sharpie ink.

It says _Pollution Control System_.

***

After class, the lunchtime rush roars around her and carries her into the cafeteria with the tide. Addison marches to the zombies’ table, head high and back straight, and doesn’t let her tray wobble, not even once.

She tries to let herself be absorbed into the conversation - Eliza’s teasing Zed about something, what else is new, but it’s hard when she’s surrounded by the criticism she was so used to facing. Some of that is silent, but most of it is loud. (Addison definitely hadn't been expecting the graffiti on her locker that uses a Seabrook zombie slur scribbled over a cartoon penis. Meanwhile, the library might have rules about being silent or only talking in low tones, but of course if a cheerleader is sitting with a zombie all bets are off.)

Zed tries to give her a kiss. Addison shrinks away so his mouth lands awkwardly on her cheek instead. He frowns.

“Not here,” Addison says, gesturing to the hundreds of critical eyes all around them.

Zed’s frown deepens but at least he seems to understand. He returns to eating the mystery meat that passes for lunch.

***

Addison heads to the library for study hall, head down, clutching her books for defense. Once she’s sure that she’s safe and ignored, she surreptitiously walks over to one of the computers and pulls up a search. Addison looks for the keywords "Pollution Control System." It pulls up at least 500 results, ranging from articles to books that she’s positive are, like, thousands of pages thick. She sighs. Science was never her favorite or best subject but this is important so she’s gonna try. Addison clicks out of the search and starts looking. Sure enough, all the books are kept in the very back of the library. They all have imposing titles like The Zombietown Scourge, which honestly just sounds like the title of a B movie. Addison picks one at random.

Just her luck: it’s an enormous book full of the detailed equations and formulas that go into zombie transformation. It has to do with contamination. As a resident of Seabrook, Addison was never exposed to that so she’s safe, she’s never going to transform. That, of course, is not the issue. She’s trying to figure out just how Zed and all the other zombies transformed - and if that process can be eliminated or at least reversed.

***

Addison is nervous. She’s not sure how to go about telling Zed that basically she’s trying to change a fundamental part of himself. So she tries to do it casually when they’re hanging out at her house after school.

“What would you say if, like, zombies weren’t a thing anymore?” Addison says as she drops a few cups of flour into a large mixing bowl. She’s making cookies. Maybe that can sweeten the conversation (as it were).

Zed stops writing in his notebook and grabs a spoon to try the batter. “What do you mean?”

“Like. Um. That the pollution didn’t exist.”

“Oh, that’s never going to happen,” Zed replies. Not cheerfully, but accepting.

Addison remembers what he’d said before, about resistance to change. Perhaps he’s not so different from his zombie peers as he’d claimed.

“I think it could,” Addison replies.

Zed frowns again and sets his spoon down. “Are you plotting something?”

“Maybe.”

He sighs. “Addison, you’ve already interfered with zombie shit enough.”

“This has nothing to do with you!” Addison protests, hoping the lie is convincing or at least halfway towards that. “It’s about saving the zombies. You were so unhappy before. I want - I want to bring you back to that. I want you to experience the way life should be. Not dead or dying.”

Zed goes back to writing and doesn’t answer for a long time. Addison looks over his shoulder to see what it is: something for English class. Keywords jump out at her. _Lady Chatterley’s Lover. “The bitch goddess.”_ Yikes.

“I thought you wanted that,” Addison says softly.

Zed shuts his notebook with a snap. “You don’t know that. Have you ever thought about _asking me_ what I want instead of assuming? Instead of blundering into things?”

“What? You think this is easy for me?” Addison retorts. She’s about to cry - she can tell from the warm sting building behind her eyes. The batter sits forgotten. How stupid could she be, thinking that her life would magically change somehow? “Dating a zombie is practically like dating a second-class citizen!”

It’s completely the wrong thing to say but she can’t take it back.

“So, what, you’re just...giving up on me? Again?” Zed asks, incredulous.

Addison doesn’t say anything. Her tears start dripping into the batter but that’s fine - the gesture was ruined anyway.

Zed shakes his head. “I should have known better than to trust some born-and-bread Seabrooker.”

He shoulders his backpack and exits the kitchen. This time Addison just watches him go without running after him or trying to stop it. Moments later she can hear her front door slam in the distance.

Addison switches on her phone and - it’s too hard, she can’t bear to see him on the seemingly-infinite apps and social media that being a popular girl in Seabrook requires. So she swipes and deletes and scrubs every trace of him she can find. Her body’s hollowed-out. Not heavy, not like before - no, this time she’s light and empty as if she’s watching herself from above.

All the pictures they took together, the progression of their relationship captured in images, vanish away so easily and she finds she doesn’t miss them. She tells herself It’s better this way.

The very last thing is his number. Addison scrolls through her contacts since of course alphabetically he’s at the very bottom. Her thumb lingers over the _Delete Contact?_ button. Then, with just a light tap, he’s gone, heart emoji and all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get one of Zoey's cookies if you catch the reference I made.

Addison curls up on her bed, phone in hand. She’s spent probably two hours now like this. First she cried, so hard her body shook and she went beyond tears into just sobbing, dry, empty. Now she just feels dead - is this what it’s like being a zombie? When you’re stiff and lifeless with some semblance of a heartbeat that feels too fake to be true? Her stomach makes a protesting noise so she might as well eat something. She slowly drags herself up and off her bed and heads to the kitchen. Her cookie project is still there. Addison almost starts crying again as she cleans it up. Going through the motions, really, since she’s not focused on what she’s doing - seeing without seeing.

She sighs and digs through the cupboard for food that doesn’t require any effort. Bread. Peanut butter. Addison knows there’s jelly in the fridge so she quickly pulls together a sandwich and chews it robotically. She seems to have lost her sense of taste. All the color has gone out of her world too.

Her phone vibrates, dancing itself across the counter. Addison stops mid-chew and feels like she’s about to throw up. Thankfully it’s just Eliza. Addison hits the answer button and holds it to her ear as she heads back upstairs.

“You know, I don’t really love playing Switzerland in all of this, but Zed’s being really pissy at the moment so I’ll take pity on you,” Eliza says.

Addison gives a hicuppy laugh. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eliza asks. Her voice is tiny and far away.

“Yes, please,” Addison says with relief. “Hey, where are you? The connection is kinda bad.”

Eliza laughs. “I’m in the car on my way over. Zed called to complain so I was like, hell no, and thought I would drive to your place to just have some girl time.”

“Ok,” Addison says. She’s definitely going to cry again, but this time it’s more out of relief and gratitude.

***

Eliza has brought wine and bags of junk food with her. “Thought this would also help,” she says with a grin.

Addison smiles back weakly and opens one of the bags of chips. There’s silence for a moment, except for chewing sounds and the rustling of bags, until Eliza clears her throat.

“So?” she asks. “What did you do this time?” Her tone is gentle and teasing, not accusatory.

“I started researching the explosion,” Addison explains. “I wanted to figure it out. What happened and why. Like, Seabrook is all protected and you guys...aren’t.”

“Geez, girl,” Eliza responds, eyes wide. “Who would have thought a cheerleader would be into that?”

“Well, it’s because of Zed,” Addison says. She’s practiced at ignoring digs like that. “If I knew why you transformed, I could - I could do something about it. It’s the pollution, right? So maybe - ugh, I don’t know.” She sighs. “What do other people in Zombietown think?”

“My sweet summer child,” Eliza says as she shakes her head and reaches for some Fritos. “Activism isn’t going to work on these people. You’ll have to break into the pollution control center and do it that way.”

Addison stares at her, incredulous. “You don’t mean…?”

Eliza nods. “Time to put those gymnastics skills to good use.”

***

It’s kind of hard to concentrate on plotting when prom season is in full swing. April has, somehow, made its inevitable slide into May. Addison stopped keeping track of time long ago so it’s weird to see posters up, hear the excited murmurs of the other girls on her squad, see dress-fitting pictures on her instagram. She gets a hard drop in her stomach every time she scrolls past. After all, who would she go with? She and Zed aren’t talking - she’s not sure they would even if she still had his social and his number. Mark is, like, a mistake, something lingering in the background. Addison knows she could go back to him at anytime - and she’s been tempted to more than once - but the very idea makes her tired.

Ugh. Anyways. She and Eliza take to meeting in the library. Zombietown is territory that’s way too dangerous for a Seabrooker, Zed or no Zed, especially if they’re trying to change up this whole thing. It turns out that the Pollution Control Center is right in the heart of Seabrook. Addison never realized that before. She guesses that people like her have never really had to. They go about their lives with the building in their midst and occasionally freak out about shit like zombies getting integrated into their schools.

Sometimes they even break into song.

Addison is grateful for Eliza’s translation skills. Eliza is trilingual - as she puts it, she can speak fluent Zombie, English, and “Seabrook Popular” - which is handy when they’re trying to decipher books from years ago when there was much more overlap between Zombietown and Seabrook. They discover that the way to break into the Pollution Control Center is to climb up to the fifth floor, get through bullet-proof glass, and avoid security guards before getting into the control system itself. Which, as it turns out, is made of knobs and dials that Eliza actually recognizes.

When Addison stares at her, wide-eyed, Eliza shrugs. “Guess they teach us different things where I’m from.”

Addison shakes her head and gets back to reading.

After a few moments, Eliza shouts “Aha!” Because she’s a zombie, she can’t get away with that sort of thing as easily as Addison could. Eliza gets a bunch of glares. More than one person flips her the bird. She shakes it off though - she’s better at that than Addison is.

“So it’s this thing,” Eliza says. She points to a complicated picture labelled in very tiny text. “It’s a device that keeps pollution out of Seabrook.”

“Which is why I’ve never been exposed to it,” Addison says, the realization slowly dawning on her.

“Uh huh,” Eliza murmurs. “But it’s broken, or doesn’t exist, for Zombietown which is why I look like this.” She gestures to herself and laughs. “Once we get in, we just have to fix it somehow and make sure not to cross the streams.”

Addison rolls her eyes. “You watch too many movies.”

Eliza shrugs. “Anyway, when we do, the pollution should stop for Zombietown and I’ll - we’ll - be cured.”

“Just like that?” Addison asks slowly. It sounds like there should be a catch in there somewhere.

“Well, first we have to figure out if the zombies actually want this,” Eliza asks.

Addison sighs. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out!!!”

“Relax,” Eliza says. She rubs Addison’s arm. “I’ll talk to Zed. Don’t worry about it, neither of you got me in the divorce. Switzerland, remember?”

“Right. Switzerland.”


	8. Chapter 8

Researching with Eliza is one good way to take her mind off things, cheer practice is obviously another. After much internal debate, Addison finally decides to add getting ready for prom into the mix. It’s just fun to be silly and girly sometimes. She decides to go it alone. When people ask, she says she’s taking herself. That gets weird looks: after all, most of her squad are already paired up with football bros and why aren’t you going to take Mark and what about Zed and -

Addison doesn’t have many pictures of herself from before these days. So she’s not really sure what look she’s going for. She stopped hiding her hair ages ago, that’s not the issue. She’s so used to defining herself by other people’s rules that her efforts to claim herself are inconsistent at best.

She takes herself shopping with her phone on silent and tossed in the bottom of her purse. It’s freeing to be out like this with no plan and no tether. She and Eliza are getting together later tonight to plan things out more firmly, but right now…

Right now it’s just Addison and David’s Bridal, haven of prom-going Seabrook girls since time immemorial. She steels herself and pushes open the door. Inside it’s hushed and almost reverential: the anticipation of a wedding or prom only on the other side of the dressing room. When one of the salesgirls zooms up to her and asks Addison if she wants any help, it’s all she can do to say no politely, instead of admitting that she has no idea what she’s doing.

That it’s the first time she’s really been alone doing something, much less for herself.

Addison finds she likes it. The rustle of dresses and occasional plastic scrape of a hanger forms a soothing rhythm. Over time she begins to discover what it is she wants. It has to be a dress with enough oomph to show everyone what she’s made of.

She finally finds it, hiding at the back row of the section of dresses in her size. Plunging neckline, because who needs an excuse to display the girls, especially at prom. Skirt that’s dance-ready but slinky enough to make a statement.

And it’s dark, emerald green. Somehow that seems fitting, too - a sign. The color makes her think of Zed, but this time without any pain.

***

“So what do you think we should do?” Eliza asks that night. Books and diagrams and the discarded remains of Chinese takeout are scattered around them.

Addison sighs and rubs her eyes. They’ve been at this for awhile now.

“What did Zed say when you talked to him?” she asks again.

Eliza underlines something in _The History of Zombietown_ and cross-checks it with her notebook. “I told you. He was all resigned curiosity, and so were his friends. I think it helps that I was the one asking him instead of you. Otherwise that convo would have been, er, charged, and not in a sexy way.”

Addison actually laughs at that. Huh, another good sign. Maybe it’s true what they say about absence and the heart.

“But you didn’t answer my question,” Eliza points out. She crunches into a spring roll and little crumbs scatter across her jeans.

“I think we should just go for it,” Addison finally says. “I mean, what else have we got to lose?”

“Uh, the entirety of my neighborhood and probably a good chunk of yours?” Eliza laughs. “Stakes are pretty damn high, Addison.”

“Yeah, but.” Addison pauses, chews her lip. “It’s worth it. You’ve lived on the fringes for too long. Seabrook has treated you like shit. This is the chance to change that.”

“I agree,” Eliza says. She grins. “I just wanted to hear you say it again.”

Addison gives her a playful shove and then the two of them go back to reading in silence for awhile.

“I’ve been thinking about when, though,” Eliza says. “Prom is in two weeks and Seabrook is going to be armed to the teeth. Don’t want to risk a zombie hoard ruining the party, right?” She says this without a single trace of irony or sadness. It’s a nice change.

“Yeah,” Addison says. Then, on impulse: “What about tonight?”

***

She and Eliza drive to the center of town towards the Pollution Control Center. Addison’s hands are sweating and she keeps tapping out a tuneless rhythm on the steering wheel. Eliza’s quiet. She always is. Addison wonders how she can be so calm.

Addison remembers when she’d wished that she could flip a switch and change everything. It’s surreal that now she finally is. Every so often they can see the flicker of a flashlight in the windows, but other than that, the lights at the Center are completely dark since it’s after 8 now.

“You ready?” Eliza asks.

Addison exhales, loud and long. “As I’ll ever be. Let’s go.”

They get out of the car and review the plan. Eliza will keep watch while Addison climbs to the third floor. There are bars on the lower windows so, as Eliza says, it’ll be just like making a ladder at cheer practice.

“Yeah, just like that,” Addison had said, rolling her eyes.

Now she looks up and assesses the situation for real. Bars on the first two floors, then just smooth brick around the third-level windows. She can kick her way in, fourth window on the left, and there it’ll be. The key to this whole mess.

She’s memorized which dials to spin, which buttons to push, but just in case, Eliza hands her the piece of paper they’d scribbled it on.

Addison takes a deep breath, hugs Eliza one last time, and walks up to the windows so she can start climbing.

***

In-two-three-out-two-three. In-two-three-out-two-three. In-two-three-out-two-three.

Just like she’s known and practiced for years.

Addison grips the bars and makes her way upwards. It’s actually not that hard once she’s started. She just has to keep breathing and focus on the goal at hand. Addison thinks about what will happen once she’s - once they’ve - done it. She thinks about Zed and concentrates hard on saying I’m sorry, as though if she thinks it loud enough, he’ll hear it in his head, too. Maybe zombies can read minds. She’s starting to hope they can.

Once she reaches the third floor, abs and biceps aching, she pauses for only a heartbeat before scuttling over to the fourth window on the left. This is it. _The only thing more dangerous than my high kick is my low kick._

Addison braces herself and kicks as forcefully as she can. The glass resists at first, until she kicks again and it shatters. Alarms squeal in the distance. She only has five minutes now at most so she clambers in, breathing hard, and scans the room.  
In the half-light it’s difficult to make out much, but once her eyes have adjusted she notices it. The system she and Eliza are about to take down.

In-two-three-out-two-three. In-two-three-out-two-three. In-two-three-out-two-three.

Addison crouches and makes her way along the floor towards the Pollution Control System. It’s smaller than she expected, just a bunch of wires, really. Four minutes now. She turns on the flashlight function on her phone and passes it over the system so she at least has some idea of where everything goes.

Three minutes. _What do we have to lose?_

Addison pulls the lever and everything goes black.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rumors start three days into the quarantine.

The first thing Addison’s aware of is silence. She blinks and looks around her, trying to understand what’s going on, what happened. Addison can feel her heart pumping hard, heavy in her chest, which makes her whole body thrum.

All she can see is a creamy-soft room, which makes it hard to focus on anything in particular. As she moves her head, Addison realizes that her back is cushioned somehow, so she must be on a bed or something. Silence fades into a steady beeping. Addison shifts and something tugs at her arm. It turns out to be an IV of some sort that’s hooked up to a drip leaking pearly blue liquid.

Is she in a _hospital?_

“Hi, Addison.” It’s a female voice, coming softly from her right.

Addison rolls over to see her. A girl she doesn’t recognize at first is sitting next to her bed, wearing the biggest smile and dark brown braids that she’s pulled up on her head. Slowly it dawns on her: Eliza. She realizes what it was that tipped her off. It’s because that’s the exact same hairstyle she was wearing in that picture she shared of Zombietown Prom. Eliza’s skin is only a bit lighter than the braids, no longer the faded, patchy white of a zombie’s skin. 

“You did it,” Eliza says. “Good work tiger.”

Addison falls back onto her bed. The magnitude of this courses through her. She did it. “How long was I out?” she asks. She stares up into the ceiling, listening to the IV and the beep of the machines around her. Although she asked, Addison isn’t sure why she actually doesn’t want to hear the answer.

Eliza laughs. “Couple of days. The explosion was intense. It rattled the whole building, so you were pretty banged up when they finally found you. Don’t worry,” she continues in response to Addison’s terrified expression. Eliza reaches out to squeeze her hand. “It’s surface stuff. You’ll be fine. They just want you to rest for a little while longer.”

“How much longer?” Addison asks hesitantly. Her body feels weak and she’s starting to notice all the “surface stuff” that Eliza commented on. The very idea of moving anywhere else seems insurmountable at the moment.

“Not sure,” Eliza replies with a shrug. “At least two more days? They’ve got all the zombies in quarantine now. Well, _former_ zombies. I snuck in here pretending to be your cousin. Not sure they believed me but whatevs.” She smirks and grabs a remote off of the table next to Addison’s bed. She points it towards an overhead TV Addison hadn’t even noticed was there.

It flickers to life and shows a newscaster in front of a picture of the now-demolished Pollution Control Center.

“Reports of the mysterious explosion at the PCC have shed no more light on how or why it occurred. A local teen was discovered at the site near the control panel…”

The newscaster is having a hard time disguising his fear as the report continues. He clutches at the stacks of paper in his hand as if they’re a lifeline instead of a prop. “It appears that this teenager flipped the switch, which enabled pollution control to include Zombietown as well. All zombies are now in quarantine indefinitely, pending their diagnosis of complete health and the confirmation that the zombie plague has been eliminated.”

Eliza flicks off the TV. “See? This is all because of you, honey. You should be proud of yourself!”

Addison sighs heavily and flops over again. “But it’s not final, Eliza. ‘Indefinitely’ probably means forever. Seabrook is so resistant to change. I should’ve known better.”

“Cut the crap, Addison,” Eliza says, exasperated. “That’s the reason you did this in the first place. Y’know, challenge people's’ assumptions. Who knows what could happen?”

“You’re right,” Addison replies cautiously. Then she grins. “So what about prom, then?”

Eliza busts out laughing. “You really are a Seabrooker, aren’t you.”

***

School is all but empty when Addison comes back from the hospital, or maybe it just seems that way without the zombies here. She hadn’t felt their absence until now. It’s - she’s gotten used to them being here. Not just Zed, but the rest of all the green-haired pale kids drifting through the halls, getting comfortable with Seabrook themselves, no matter if the feeling wasn’t returned. The way they’d carved room for themselves despite everything. Yet the teachers seem happier now, as if the weight of having zombies around is gone.

They’re not gone completely, though. Evidently some of them are in the Zombie Safe Room so they don’t have to interrupt their coursework. There’s a heavily-armed patrol outside the Safe Room and none of them look remotely friendly. That hallway is essentially blocked off now.

And the rest? Stuck in Zombietown. Addison finds herself thinking of Zoey and her cookies. What’s going to happen to her? What does she look like now? Addison tries to picture it but all that comes up is blurry emptiness.

As for Zed -

He’s probably down that hallway right now. Addison is lightheaded at the thought. He’s here, and somehow not here at the same time. Just a few steps away from the cafeteria. She could walk over and.

And what, really? What would they say to each other?

In her daydreams she pictures an ecstatic reunion. Running into each other’s arms. Zed lifting her up, spinning her around, smiling the way Eliza had. “You did it!” he’d say. They’d kiss like fireworks in some Disney movie.

The sweet little bubble of her daydream bursts completely when her English teacher yells at her. Addison startles awake and forces herself to read the passage from Lady Chatterley’s Lover she’s evidently been assigned.

Ugh. At least _that_ hasn’t changed.

It’s lunch that’s truly bizarre. The table where the zombies used to sit has been completely reabsorbed into the general population like it was nothing else before. History smoothed over just like that. A group of nerds have claimed it now. They sit around with their Converse-clad feet propped up on the benches, trading stats on some book Addison’s never bothered to read.

Not for the first time, Addison feels like all eyes on her as she stands just past the lunchline trying to figure out where to sit. The cheerleaders will welcome her back with open arms like before. They tend to have a short-term memory. It’s soothing in its own weird way.

Addison sighs and walks over. She sits down and lets herself just nod and smile until the conversation becomes white noise.

The rumors start three days into the quarantine. _Omg. Did you hear. They’re -_

“What?” Addison asks casually as she pulls on her civvies after cheer practice. (It’s like when she takes her bra off when she gets home - free.)

“They’re inviting the zombies to prom.”


	10. Chapter 10

There is, predictably, an uproar. It’s hard to tell which side is loudest: the cheerleaders yelling that the zombies will ruin prom or the students (mostly nerds) who insist that it’s an important gesture. Of course, there’s a third side composed of students who really don’t give a shit about the whole thing since they weren’t planning on going to prom anyway.

Addison feels drowned in the noise. Tugged.

Especially since the whole thing is because of her. No one knows but Eliza and Zed, of course. Because Addison’s a minor, they can’t name her in the news reports. (Reports that seem incessant, increasingly so in the days leading up to prom itself.) Plus, when Eliza had asked Zed to gauge the zombies’ feelings about it, she hadn’t mentioned Addison’s name.

It seems like a burden of responsibility, even though Addison wanted this all along. Even back when the zombies were just invited to school, when everyone was singing about it, there was a dark little thought in the pit of her stomach. A thought that said, the whole time Addison sang her heart out (literally and figuratively), _what if_. Not just because of Zed, either. That feeling of how unfair this shit is, the discrimination, the fear that surrounded her.

Of course, after she found out about Zach, she had extra motivation. But still. It’s not entirely for him.

***

Flyers begin to show up around school. Some of them use zombie slurs. Others have peace signs and butterflies. Eliza and Addison dutifully take down the shitty ones, but there’s only so much two girls can do.The new posters seem to overwhelm the prom committee. After all, they’re trying to advertise a party for Chrissake (as Addison overhears). It appears that there are some warring factions within the committee, too.

The teachers have started getting in on the action as well. There are more classes on the explosion than usual. They don’t do as much to calm down students who go off on tangents in re: zombies. (Not even the noisier, more aggressive tangents.)

It gets to the point where the principal has to get on the PA system. “As you have heard by now,” she says in an incredibly world-weary tone, “it appears that zombies have returned to their natural, human state - ”

“It ain’t fuckin’ natural!” a footballer yells, standing up. He and his fellow goons yell their support.

Even though the principal can’t hear them, obviously, she seems to sense the disgruntled shouts and murmurs around her. “ - and we are more than happy to welcome them back into the fold. Zelda, if you would be so kind -”

Zelda is the chair of the prom committee. Addison’s seen her around school once or twice but can’t identify her fully.

There’s a rustle of paper and then Zelda’s bright, chirpy voice provides them with an update on prom. “Our theme this year has been changed to ‘Dancing Under the Stars.’ We selected it in honor of Zombietown. It was the theme of their most recent prom before they transformed.”

Addison hugs herself. All those pictures she saw, that Eliza shared with her, come rushing back in her mind.

“So we ask you to provide your support and make this a prom to remember!”

***

Eliza suggests pregaming but Addison shuts her down. She wants a clear head - not just to remember this night, but to have the confidence to make it through. Confidence that drinking would take away rather than add to. So instead they hang out in Addison’s room with their dresses spread out on her bed, high heels kicked over, makeup everywhere, and Addison’s hair straightener somewhere in the mix if only she could find it…

Eliza’s got her party mix up on Spotify and is singing along while Addison digs around for that hair straightener. Aha! Success. She plugs it in and sucks on a Hershey’s Kiss while she waits for it to heat up.

“What are you going to do when Zed shows up?” Eliza asks. She leans over the bathroom counter to get up close to the mirror for applying mascara. Her tone is casual but it still catches Addison by surprise.

Addison bends her head to the left and straightens a section of hair while she thinks about it. “Scream? Run away?” She’s honestly joking. She’s surprised and grateful when Eliza realizes and giggles with her.

“Your choice,” Eliza says, smirking, and goes to put on her dress.

***

Addison hasn’t seen school lit up like this since - well, probably last year’s prom. Little spotlights point out a path into the gym. There are security guards in plainclothes ushering students in, but Addison tries not to notice those. The crowd is noisy but more out of buzzed happiness than animosity. (For now.)

She and Eliza walk into the gym together. Arms around each other at first - c’mon, it’s been ages since either of them have worn heels - then Eliza spots a friend and vanishes into the crowd. Addison stands alone by the refreshments table. There’s a huge punch bowl with oranges cut into the shape of stars. Someone on the prom committee also took the time to bake countless sugar cookies delicately frosted to look like planets.

Addison reaches for one and chews it thoughtfully while she surveys the scene. It looks sort of like the Zombietown version of prom she'd seen. That is, if Zombietown had Seabrook money. The room hardly looks like a gym at all. Dark blue curtains partially obscure the entrance. Fairy lights are hung at regular intervals along the fabric. Glittering star-shaped paper cutouts provide an extra accent. A tinny version of “Heaven is a Place on Earth” plays in the background.

Zombies walk in with the others until she can’t tell who is who anymore. The only marker is their unbridled enthusiasm for the whole thing. “Really?!” “Look at this!” It’s a whole treat for them, whereas Seabrook students are used to it.

She’s looking for him. Of course she is. Her skin prickles from the waiting. Zombies and Seabrookers all around her but none of them are him.

Until. Through those curtains, pulling them aside, ducking under, standing up again. He’s looking around, too, and finally -  


Heart stops stomach drops. She’s dizzy. Addison isn’t sure if it’s because of the party lights swirling overhead, or the fact that she hasn’t seen him in so long, after all they’ve been through, after everything she’s done.

(Honestly? It’s probably an unhealthy mix of both.)

She walks forward anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the wonderful response to this. I’ve never written in a fandom this, ah, dedicated before so it was a new experience for me on many fronts. I’m on tumblr @freloux, so see you there! Anonymous commenting is off but I promise I don’t bite. <3


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